Public Intellectual Gifts

No atheists in Heaven.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'No ice.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Miss America IQ Pageant

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

Paul Ree

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

'I know it's gassy...'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

Barack Obama's To Do list.

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Men gossiping

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Ask not for whom happy hour ends. It ends for thee.

Arthur Schopenhauer

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Joyce could certainly handle her drink!

'Did you hear that? They said 'Hello' to you.'