Pub Pacer Gifts

"Suddenly, Jake realized he and his Mandolin had stumbled into a Ukulele pub."

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"It feels good to unwind..."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"What other tricks does he need?"

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Half o' mild and a bag of pork scratchings - you're grooming me, aren't you?'

Dog Bar with Toilets.

'All this talk about a consumer society... I don't buy it.'

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"Me too! Let's get some beers!"

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

Cold Beers and Skiers

Over-reaction Man.

"That? - Oh, along about his fourth beer, Old Cunningham, there, usually starts singing 'Greensleeves.'"

'His idea of healthy living is going to the pub in his tracksuit.'

"'Frankenstein' is Jewish. I'm Irish on my mother's side because she was green, and an 'O' Houligan'..."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

Pub Kendo.

'I brew it myself.'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

'I don't think much of this topless darts bob'

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house