Pub Night Regulars Gifts

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

'No ice.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I forget to drink."

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Just water for me, please."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

Redhead

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

Real Beer People

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Beer Lunch

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

"I'm thinking of turning green..."

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"That? - Oh, along about his fourth beer, Old Cunningham, there, usually starts singing 'Greensleeves.'"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

'If there's going to be a double dip, who's joining me in the pub?'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think I know where you're going with this: Yes, he was talking about happy hour.