Pub Night Regulars Gifts

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

'No ice.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

"I forget to drink."

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

Redhead

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"Just water for me, please."

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I was wondering if you could recommend a good 'hoppy' beer?"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

Beer Lunch

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Real Beer People

'Beer? Wassat then?'

'He doesn't actually drink much. He spills most of it!'

"That? - Oh, along about his fourth beer, Old Cunningham, there, usually starts singing 'Greensleeves.'"

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

"I'm thinking of turning green..."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

'Sorry, no credit, the only free spirit in here is my barmaid.'

"You see them huddled outside a lot since the smoke and mirrors ban came in."

Weather bar

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"Blueprints for Irish theme pub" found at the end of a rainbow