Pub Banter Lover Gifts

"We've met before but I believe your head was bigger."

"I'd like a glass of tap water, a dirty look and a sarcastic comment please."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

"I think we may be related!"

'I know it's gassy...'

City Boy.

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

Men's fragrances...

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

'Beer's more than just a food -- it's a comfort food!'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'No Fred, this one is one me!'

'You can't come in here with that.'

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'Would you say your glass is half empty or half full?' 'Whose round is it?'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

Professional woman in pub

JOE'S 'COME ON - YOU KNOW YOU REALLY WANT IT' BAR.

"You lack spontaniety."

His & hers towels.

'Make it a microbrew, Jake! I've gone organic!'

Drunken singers in a public house

'I'm looking for male bonding, but I'm a little rusty.'

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'