Psychological Journeyer Gifts

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

ET Mishap

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

'Life is like a trough, Mr. Fisk. How much slop you get out of it depends on how much slop you put into it.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Buddhist photo albums,

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

All we have in life is this moment...

'Have you been working out?'

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

Don't Take No For an Answer

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"I hope someday someone steals my identity and makes something out of my life."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

Reflection (with bubbles)

Late-Onset Epiphany

'Fortunately, the Almighty is compassionate, kind, understanding, and hopefully tone deaf.'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

Go ahead and leave, but you'll come back. You always come back.

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

'Oh, this is my son - I'm home-enlightening him.'

Because his educational background had not included training in psychology...

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

"You what? Well, you darn well ought to have a guilt complex"

"Can you get that down to 140 characters?"