Therapy Journeyer Gifts

'Of course I've become more mature since you started treating me. You've been at it since I was 14 years old.'

"I think I'm making progress. My agonized ambivalence has given way to plain old agony."

'It was his last session.'

"Let me guess, coach...I've got to come back again tomorrow, right?"

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

Pastorius wonders why.

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'I hate Mondays.'

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

Burnout Syndrome...

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'When my business turned into a lemon, I made lemonade....but that also failed when nobody liked its taste'

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

'I hate all holidays!'