Proverb Masters Gifts

"This can't be the road to Hell, it isn't paved!"

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"...and your ears! They're like silk purses!"

The devil you know and his plus one

Sauce for the Goose

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Hahahaha doctor, I guess I'll see you in a week

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'This is a spiritual journey, Buddy...not a road trip.'

Relax.