Proud Job Holder Gifts

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

Butterfly Woman

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Things I love about Powell River...

Working 9 to 5.

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

'Look honey! I can touch my knees!'

Teacher and students.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

International House of Paperwork

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'It's all right. I'm just a little behind.'

Right Here

Think Big.

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

The proud husband who's wife just lost thirty-five pounds: 'This is my wife Sandra, Greatly reduced.'

Pet Dog.

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

'I know it's your best round ever, but did you really have to enlarge the scorecard that much?'

Flunkey asking for a larger salary and not happy to be compared to a lower order of clergy

'I feel so proud. Dad says my cooking is just like Mum's.'

"Finding $20 while on bathroom clean-up duty."

'Nothing beats that Procedure Form C4/34.2FF6932 completion feeling...'

'You may have my Double-Double when you can pry it from my cold, dead hand.'

"I shuffle the papers that ordinary, everyday Americans won't."

"Primary Emergency Contact?"

'Since she jumped over the moon there's been no living with her.'

"Got your e-mail, thanks."

'Irvin's so proud. He made the New York Times' best cellars list.'

'My other car has a bumper sticker that says 'my other car is a cadillac','

"Just six months ago, he was completely feral."