Desk Job Devotee Gifts

"Got your e-mail, thanks."

Input (not yours) and Output (only mine).

'It's all right. I'm just a little behind.'

International House of Paperwork

"Push the paper, Sean. Never pull."

"I shuffle the papers that ordinary, everyday Americans won't."

Working 9 to 5.

"After working at a desk for 40 years, Charlie never really wanted a man cave."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

Storm in the out tray

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Inkwell Genie.

Whack, Out of Whack.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"I told my manager that I couldn't cope with the endless mind numbing paperwork. I said I'd had enough of the bureaucracy, that I had to get out."