Proud Homeowner Pillows

"My first Social Security check."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'George can't resist showing guests the new extension.'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Cry babies.

Impressing dad.

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Your children are adorable...and so shiny!" "Thanks. I them in dish detergent."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'Well, he's definitely got your nose...'

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"Isn't he the spitting image of his Dad?"

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Wow! Your kid looks a lot like you!'

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'Dear, Junior ate his first house today!'

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

"Now, is this the kind of painting your Mommy would be proud to post on her Instagram?"

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"