Light-hearted Homeowner Pillows

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Mouse real estate!

Beware of the Lawn

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

A cock up of builders

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

Hey! Built-ins! Carpenter Ants: Best-Case Scenario.

Home Ship Home

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

Old woman in shoe says: 'We can't afford to move, so we're just having a few improvements made.'

For Sale Not for sale.

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

"Thank goodness I'm only renting."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

The Horn Of Extra Square Footage