Light-hearted Homeowner Pillows

"Careful. That house has a taser."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

Mouse real estate!

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

A cock up of builders

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'This fish looked bored so we installed a rec room below their tank.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"It was one of the things they kept after selling the ski resort."

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

Finally, I found a good use for that leak.

"I'm going to put some shelves up, certain scenes may contain strong language."

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

Junk Mail Shredder.

Home Ship Home

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

Old woman in shoe says: 'We can't afford to move, so we're just having a few improvements made.'

For Sale Not for sale.

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"Thank goodness I'm only renting."

The Horn Of Extra Square Footage

'We don't have a dog but we felt a need to offer a warning anyway.'