Proud Bachelor Gifts

'No need to pity me: I'm a lone wolf by choice...'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...Please stop the...'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Dang.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Slow and hurl.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

Bachelor Cake

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'I'm coping.'

'I've got the iron.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Okey-doke,'

'What's the special?'

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

'I love to chase cars too!'

"Yes, Mother ... I'm still single."

Deformed and damaged.

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

Cult films!

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

"How did you come to the conclusion that some people are better suited for single life?"

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

'Everyone abhors a know-it-all.'