Proud Bachelor Pillows

'No need to pity me: I'm a lone wolf by choice...'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

'...Please stop the...'

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'Have you ever imagined a world without stupid hypothetical questions?'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

Bachelor Cake

'I've got the iron.'

'Slow and hurl.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'I'm coping.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Tele-barketer.'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Dang.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Okey-doke,'

'That would be way embarrassing.'

'What's the special?'

'crackle snap crackle pop.'

'Uh, i'll pass.'

'This could be a new record!'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

Deformed and damaged.

"How did you come to the conclusion that some people are better suited for single life?"

'Your giant zit keeps staring at me!!'

'Sure. That's why I wear open-toed sandals.'

Cult films!

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

'I love to chase cars too!'

What goes on at home, stays at home.