Bachelor Lifestyle Enthusiast Pillows

'Nope. Christy broke up with me.'

"Chips?! Oh yes, in the old days, we used to have chips almost weekly, but then, his girlfriend moved in."

Yes, it's a small nest. I've given up on relationships: I've built myself a bachelor pad...

'Did you peek?'

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'

'You just go out on the lot and mark the tree you want.'

'You could say that.'

'I think I'll make my famous beef stew tonight.'

'I don't hear anything.'

"Living Alone - It's just plain fun!"

'he paid me twenty bucks to cut the brake wire on Skeeter's lawn tractor.'

'Sorry I deuced in your shoe.'

'He says some time between 7 A.M. and infinity.'

'Dang! I have this nagging feeling that I forgot something.'

'Tele-barketer.'

'I never hire bachelors- To make it in a rat race, a man needs a jockey.'

"Yeah, I'm between women, as usual."

'Okey-doke,'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'...Please stop the...'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

'What kind of...'

'Dang.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

"MY dad says that a man calls himself a bachelor until he gets married. Then he calls himself a bl**dy fool."

'Slow and hurl.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'I've got the iron.'

'I'm coping.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

Bachelor Cake

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'