Protein Dieter Gifts

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'Surely there's some other good source of protein out there!'

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'You're going to go on a diet.'

The Atkins Diet.

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

"So much for getting fit during quarantine. . . dieting all morning for nothing."

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

The Fast Diet

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.