Protein Dieter Mugs

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

'I'd like something with a high amount of vegetable protein, a bit of glucose or dextroe for energy, and some fiber.' 'One peanut butter and jelly on toast.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"I think my fat has GPS. Every time I lose some, it always finds its way back home."

'Tomorrow we'll just have lettuce and water, OK.'

Low Carb Dieter Birthdays - diving for meat from the pinata.

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'Surely there's some other good source of protein out there!'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

'You're going to go on a diet.'

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

The Atkins Diet.

I'm sick and tired of this low carb diet.

Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'

"Where hard boiled eggs end up."

'Fad diet. The weight will come right back.'

'I've started this new 'Detox' diet - no caffeine or alcohol...no processed foods...

Maude finally gets rid of her giant ass.

'Weight loss can cause liver damage...'

Cream tea...without the cream,butter or jam and no milk with the tea!

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

Less curds, more whey. Middle-aged Miss Muffet.

There's a thin person inside me trying to get out...probably more than one.

The Fast Diet

Are you sticking with your resolution to lose weight? No, the South Beach diet wasn't working for me --- I hate sand in my food.

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.