Healthful Dieter Gifts

"It's one of the side effects of a high protein diet."

Soup of the month.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

The discovery of asparagus.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'You're eating too much roughage.'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

'You must stop feeding him fish oils to make him cleverer.'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

“Children hate me.”

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'