Healthful Dieter Gifts

"It's one of the side effects of a high protein diet."

Soup of the month.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

The discovery of asparagus.

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

Man with a pizza in 'Lover's Lane.'

'Vegetarian is an old Indian word which means bad hunter.'

Macho Vegetarian

"You won’t need refills."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Women holding onto birds so that her weight seems lower

Gastroenterology - Pull Finger For Service.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'According to Dr Alvin McDowell, everything that was good for you is now bad for you!'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Of course I followed the diet religiously. I do everything religiously.'

"Some doctor that guy is - He's OBSESSED with diet and exercise!"

"The only way to stop the spread is to eat less and exercise more."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

“Children hate me.”

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'You must stop feeding him fish oils to make him cleverer.'