Property Promoter Gifts

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"Look, son, real estate."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"Sold his air rights."

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Garage Music

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

How to Build a Bungalow