Property Dealer Gifts

Goldfish in Bowl, "And this is the sitting room and the bedroom and the toilet and...."

"It's in move-in condition."

"We sold our two-bedroom village at a great price and bought the Virgin Islands."

"We love the view. It helps to remind us that we're part of a larger community."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"It's a basement apartment, but it's conveniently right next to the subway."

'I wan a nice four bedroom for under

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

Mouse real estate!

"Sold his air rights."

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Home Sweet Second Home.

An exaggeration of estate agents

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'