Property Trading Gifts

Trump falls at Pennsylvania Avenue in Monopoly.

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"You called me, boss?" "Yes, I overheard you talking to patrons about all the new planets we’ve found." "I want you to stop doing that." "At least until I’m done buying up as much of that real estate as I can. I don’t need any competitors driving up the prices." "Very bad man." "When the hipsters run out of cities to gentrify here, my properties on Gliese 581c are going to make a killing."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

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'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Mouse real estate!

Home Sweet Second Home.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Igloo sales

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

'They're playing house.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

Dog Realtor

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

UP Again: Housing Prices.