Property Salesperson Gifts

Mouse real estate!

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Toadstools

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."