Real Estate Salesperson Gifts

"Three bedrooms, living room, dining room, and a little room to negotiate."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"