Real Estate Agent Gifts

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"I would die, but I have a rent-controlled apartment."

Card section: Condolence (real estate).

Dog Realtor

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

A house haunts a man.

"Hi, come on in to our impressively well-constructed, picture-book colonial home, ideally located on a quiet tree-lined street among the area's finest residences."

"Holy cow! What kind of crazy people used to live here anyway?"

"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."

"Uh-oh, I think a storm has turned our valuable ocean-front property into worthless ocean-floor property."

"And if what they say about global warming is true you should have year round use of the pool by 2075."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."

"He's having a tough time letting go of the Upper East Side."

"First time buyers have always been my favorite clients."

'I'm just sayin', maybe we should look for another real estate agent!'

"I hope we can flip it before the tide comes in."

Designated area of outstanding natural profitability.

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Supply' and 'Demand' arm wrestle keeping the 'Industrial real estate market' steady

'Now before you get all upset, I got ten percent above market value.'

"Just a little staging for the open house. Homes with a double garage sell faster."

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

'Empty-nesters. They're hoping to sell before the flock tries to move back in.'

'It says right here in your contract, folks: 'Some settling may occur during the first year'.'

'Hardly worth blowing down.'

I'm afraid your loan will be stuck in underwriting until you've each had a full panic attack.'

"When I said it might sell faster if you put in a new driveway, I meant if you repaved the old one."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

"I'm not huffing and puffing. I'm foreclosing."

'I just figure out why this house isn't selling.'

"I'm not a guru. I'm just hanging out here till my renovation is done."

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."