Property Promoter Pillows

Rising Housing Costs vs Wages.

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

"Look, son, real estate."

'We'll convert it into flats and revitalise the area.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

Home Sweet Second Home.

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"I've just bought five acres of prime oceanfront. Want to help me build on it?"

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"Sold his air rights."

'Your mortgage is under water...so what's the problem?'

'It started out as a little tree house for the kids and we kept adding on to it.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

Garage Music

How to Build a Bungalow

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'So what if you found it? Whatever it is, it belongs to ME! Now, get off my beach!'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"