Property Picker T-Shirts

"He's very finicky."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

Starter Homes

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

"You've got termites."

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

See the house whose property taxes were raised

"What's the difference between the butterscotch champagne mist and the tawny sunset beige? Probably something buried deep in your psyche."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'I need three estimates before I appoint an estate agent.' - 'Right, £120,000, £130,000 and £140,000.'

"Like I told you Gladys: location, location, location."

"Anything in Mr, Rogers' neighborhood?"

For Sale By Owner