Properties T-Shirts

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

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"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

"A little baking soda will get rid of the smell.

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Mouse real estate!

Burbank Imposes Parking Fee on RVs

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Who Let the Dawg In?

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

An exaggeration of estate agents

"I see no problems. We can get lots more of these houses in.."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'It will cost more, but I suggest building from scratch instead of a gingerbread mix.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Homeless count.

The Speculators