Propane Pro Gifts

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

Robert Fripp

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

Man using to much bug spray

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Be patient. It's almost dead."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Propping up a profits chart.

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

'I hate playing stinkbugs! Every time we press them on defense, they just let 'e rip!'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

'Oh it's fantastic. It's my thirty fourth favourite sub-genre of progressive rock.'

"They really expect a lot from us."

"It's not easy getting a seat on the bus, but my phone stays charged all day."

'Hello - I've been parachuted in to save the bank.'

Impressive! (Cow has stinky smoke signals).

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

Hair Style Menu

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

Because of Bob's excessive gas, the Alaskan natural gas pipeline make a detour...

'WOOHOO! I love Methane!'

Mary wonders how to get rid of the entomologist in her kitchen.

Power pack water jet pilot in trouble.

'Well, this explains everything. You've been bitten by the acting bug!'

"Once we get the performance figures in we give them to Mrs Miggins and her magic cauldron to make sense of them!"

"I never discuss my clients with their mothers."

"It's a funny looking world from where you are now! Right, Bill?"

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

"If you can't stand the jaguar, get out of the kitchen."

That's obviously a comedy-prop arrow on your head, Mr. Fusco. My diagnosis would be Steve Martin Syndrome, but for the fact that you lack one key symptom: Humor.