Promotional Item Collector T-Shirts

"Cheap merch will only hold them for so long."

'These are job perks.'

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

'Congratulations, Yomp - we're giving you a bigger carrot!'

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

'I don't think I've ever heard of the Geezer Scouts or Geezer Scout cookies.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'These new metal detectors are great!'

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"Have somebody get rid of that!"

'Ted, I think we need to re-evaluate your carrot.'

The Magic Float

Keep Calm and Cover Your Ass

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"Interestingly no - these are vastly enlarged images of my three favourite chromosomes."

Replica Football Merchandise

Think Big: 'It's too small!'

'Are you admiring my embroidery, dear? To fully appreciate it you need these...'

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

"I'm a hunter-gatherer-hoarder."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, unless you know something we don't.

Dog with toilet drink hat.

Swiss Army General.

Now in Pumpkin Spice!

"We offer video games, snacks, t-shirts, coffee mugs, beer and wine. Oh, and we also we have a movie."

"It's a belly button ring with a coaster to hold your beer!"

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'