Promo Collector T-Shirts

Newspaper falls out of pile of junk leaflets.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Unusual Offers

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

"I wonder what this was for."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'I've been made junior partner.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'How old is this vase?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

The Magic Float

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.