Promo Collector Gifts

Newspaper falls out of pile of junk leaflets.

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Unusual Offers

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

"I wonder what this was for."

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'I've been made junior partner.'

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

"Hey, Dad, guess what? My Honus Wagner baseball card is worth $2.1 million!"

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

'How old is this vase?'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

The Magic Float

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'