Gift Collector T-Shirts

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

"A fortnight's holiday in Spain, and you bring a gift of a measly pebble? Well, I suppose it's a change from a flippin' mug!"

Speed Dating for Turtles

Sounds that various toys make when they are vacuumed up.

"You left this on our ship."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Cheeze Wiz.

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Susie knew she could rely on big Ted for comfort.

'At lone at last.'

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Tamagotchi paralysis.

Ball as water-melon.

"I love these old decorations!"

Missing You.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"No es problema para mi si no es problema para ti."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

ZOO

"Everyone says she has the clutter of someone twice her age."

Tired Barbie

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

Teddy and friends.

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"