Projectionist Gifts

Film Buff.

Salmon jumping up waterfall on film

'This is a pirate moving image isn't it?'

Canada's longest running movie house.

'I've already seen this movie - eighty times! I'm a projectionist.'

'I can finance your conversion to digital, but you'll owe me your soul.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

Lessons from the Blakely Art School (Now Defunct)

"We don't believe in miracles. We rely on them."

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

The end is near.

"All right, Thompson. The board concedes that this quarter's economic growth does look very much like a kitty.

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

Mona Lisa Letter Box Edition.

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

Fireplace Projector.

"And this slide represents what our sales growth would look like if we hadn't screwed it up so bad."

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

Anticipated Sales - "Now at this point reality intruded."

'I have a plan 'B', but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Lincoln Portrait

Perspective Repair

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

"Please, no more movies about feelings."