Projection Pro Gifts

'I have a plan 'B', but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

I don't get why ladies find you so charming, and me so boring. Simple projection. Believe she finds you charming because you're wittier and more mysterious than she is. She'll sense you're a challenge. Suddenly she'll make anything you say conform to that assumption. So I just Jedi mind-trick them? Maybe not ANYthing.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"I need to see your budget proposal."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"National security adviser"

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"One of the most compelling graphic presentations I've ever seen!"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

Worker ant's To Do list.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"For cryin' out loud, Frank, we don't have all day! Cut to the cheese!"

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'It's perfect, but can we see it in white?'

"As you can see, our corporate structure is turtles all the way down."

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

Around here it got a little tricky...

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'