Progressive Parenting Gifts

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"Time for bed, guys."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

Modern Baby Mobiles

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

"Alright kids: two more minutes then the nice man needs the machines."

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

Before birds and bees,

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"Having fun there little guy?"

'They start texting so young these days,'

'Guess what? I found a way to get the baby to eat creamed peas!'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'