Progressive Parenting Prints

A man outside of gents toilet sees sign: New Men - With Baby changing facilities.

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"I have a new program that draws from his energy to power all our computers and phones. We should be good for the next 10 years."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Time for bed, guys."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

'The tests are pretty conclusive, Mrs. Kane. It's going to be a brat.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

"I had a lot more freedom before mom got the drone."

"I was hoping her first sentence would be, 'I love you, mommy.' Not, 'what's the Wi-Fi password?'"

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"But if I close the drawer, won't my breathable underwear suffocate?"

'This pacifier looks like a cell phone to make the inevitable transition that much easier.'

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

"Alright kids: two more minutes then the nice man needs the machines."

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

Before birds and bees,

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"Having fun there little guy?"

'Guess what? I found a way to get the baby to eat creamed peas!'

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

"Just tell Daddy who hit you, and I will march upstairs and ask Mommy how to handle this!"