Modern Parenting Explorer Gifts

"We want one that's genetically gifted but not genetically spoiled."

"But, Paw, I don't eat eggs or bacon anymore."

"You want daddy to sue and make it all better?"

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"He just said his first word!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"Now, Mrs. Stevens, go to work, relax, and leave the social engineering to us."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

"Santa said to stop making toys. From here on out we'll be making computers and phones. Does anyone know anything about technology?"

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'We'd like to christen him 2GR4T7VXS35. That way it'll be easier for him to get his own web domain name when he's older.'

"They grow up so fast. From Mother Goose to Google."

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."