Profit Sharer Pillows

Sharing Company Profits

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Two Players both holding the same cue.

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"I'd appreciate a little more reacting to my ranting."

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

The bucks stop here.

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

'...All profits are local.'

Stock Exchange.

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."

"Not many of you may agree with me..."

"Oh, Herb. Not Another Open Letter To Miley Cyrus."

"As you can see, the company's performance has been strong."

"The problem is: reasonable men may differ on what the hell reason is!"

"Without your contribution here, th rest would be just meaningless numbers."

"Thank you for participating in this poll, but because your answers do not coincide with your social media rantings, you're obviously lying."

FRIENDLY BAR: Gently confirming your every opinion since 1957.

'Miss Stevens, I'm not to be disturbed. I'm indulging in a period of self-congratulation.'

Night of the Living Well-Read

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

"For Thanksgiving...I want to celebrate Christmas!"

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"Katharine, I'm going to be completely frank about the film, even though you bought the tickets."

'Mom calls this a diary where you write private thoughts no one else can see. What fun is that?'

'And the public is protected from your tweets.'

"I did share! I gave Dougie all my melted candy."

'Now that we're married, I thought I should be less selfish. Here, take the TV remote while I get a snack.'

"My outlandish political delusions are WAY more reasonable than yours!"