Profit Predict Pillows

Up please...

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

ACME Balloon Company.

Business is off the chart.

Let's Celebrate

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"I love your optimism."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Love your feng shui!"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."