Market Predictor Pillows

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"I see sustained economic growth. You see prolonged downturn. Same old, same old."

"Seriously? Did no one foresee our stock prices collapsing after Easter?"

Desk trays for 'irrationally exuberant' and 'irrationally sluggish'.

Our stock picks have beaten the darts three years in a row!

"My arthritis lets me know when it's going to rain, and my acid reflux lets me know when a stock market storm is rolling in."

"I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what the market is going to do."

"I figure I must be doing okay at my job since our economy and currency haven't collapsed."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Business is off the chart.

Why markets crash.

"I love your optimism."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

Out of control

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

"It will be all your fault."

City Redundancies - In? Out?

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

'Well they often get it wrong.'