Market Forecasting Pillows

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

European currency on the edge.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

Chicken - "The Dow is falling...the dow is falling..."

Out of control

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

Recycling bin for 'short term business plans'

Melissa's Mark Prediction Service

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

'Well they often get it wrong.'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

Passing the Pension Time Bomb

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"What's Tim doing on the window ledge?"

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

'They are like family...they're my family of retirement funds.'