Profit Forecasting Pillows

'A simple, 'profits are up', would have sufficed.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

European currency on the edge.

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Business is off the chart.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"I love your optimism."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"I don't like the look of this."

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Oh, I can't complain"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"It will be all your fault."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."