Profit Predict T-Shirts

Up please...

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

ACME Balloon Company.

Business is off the chart.

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

Let's Celebrate

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"I love your optimism."

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Oh, I can't complain"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"We're estimating that sales are now up to about here."

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

Groundhog. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way, Ernie. We can't expect an early spring if your umbrella is the only reason he's not seeing his shadow.

"Love your feng shui!"