Profits T-Shirts

'You're a two-faced, back stabbing, bootlicker who wouldn't hesitate to sell his own Mother for profit, Penderton. If only we had more like you.'

Let's Celebrate

"That's a new side effect of our mission to keep things together."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'And I'm happy to say, that since the merger...'

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Soaring Profits

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Business is off the chart.

"I love your optimism."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Oh, I can't complain"

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'