Profit Margin Explorer T-Shirts

"Would you like to see the markup?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

ACME Balloon Company.

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Soaring Profits

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

'There are only three things that matter in this world, son... bottom line...'

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

"And this is where we all gave up."

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Annual Stockholders' Meeting: Take some tissues.

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"We could try 'gravity' as an excuse."

'We're plowing our excess profits back into justifying our profits.'

"Profits. Good thing or the greatest thing?"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

business

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'