Profit Grapher T-Shirts

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

ACME Balloon Company.

Soaring Profits

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

Sales.

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

"And this is where we all gave up."

"I never dreamed I'd ever enjoy watching my figure this much."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

Around here it got a little tricky...

'We need a product line that will stimulate our profit line.'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'I say, let's not be hasty in enforcing the mandatory retirement age.'

Man watches sales chart drop through the floor.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'What do you mean, the chart resembles an iceberg?'

'I need a tool to measure productivity.'

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

'We're plowing our excess profits back into justifying our profits.'

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"For an up to date picture, I suggest we reconvene under the table."

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"That was a rumor day."