Profit Analyzer T-Shirts

"The first thing we need to do is straighten up this account."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"And this is where we all gave up."

"After an extensive analysis of your company's strengths and weaknesses our recommendation is to give us more money."

"I'm sorry, JB, we still haven't worked out how we did it."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'Dow, Jones, Russell & Nikkei - Leading economic indicators.'

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

"I thought they introduced the witch a little late."

"'Statistics will prove anything' is right, Carruthers. They prove you screwed up."

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

"There's something about seeing red that just drives me crazy."

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

"Well, we know it's WAY down there, but it may be beyond the range of our equipment."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'