Profit Chart Critic Gifts

Dot com profits chart going down into the dustbin.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

Stock market investment advice

"Well, there's nowhere to go but up."

A guide to seasons in the North East

Real data visualization specialists are 100% committed to their profession.

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"That's not a progress chart, that's the bosses salary chart!"

"Great idea of yours to offer their money back if not satisfied."

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

"We have reason to believe there may be some volatility in the fourth quarter."

Business Outlook

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

Trickledown economics

World Financial Mafia

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'That is correct on so many levels Jenkins!'

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

'And this is the day we put too much coffee in the cappuccino machine.'

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

BP Greed Credentials - huge profits and cuts to environmental promises.

'If you had more criminal potential, you'd get a bonus like all the other investment bankers!'

'Today the stock market closed early so money managers could take time to stop and smell the profits.'

'This is where we hired Felder. All those in favor of going back in time and not hiring Felder...'

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

Mismanagement at the Bank of England

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

Why Can't We Make Money From Our Mistakes Like Equifax?

Your new salary is closely linked to profits - a smaller salary means more profits.