Professional Shopper Gifts

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"She's okay - she just shopped 'till she dropped."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

'She's so put together!'

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Everything's gone up."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."