Professional Shopper T-Shirts

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"She's okay - she just shopped 'till she dropped."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Cut Price

'She's so put together!'

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

A women in a shoeshop.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

A young couple selects items from a shop.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"Everything's gone up."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy, buy again."

'Let's go and make some unfunded spending committments.'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."