Pragmatic Shopper T-Shirts

'When it comes to food shopping, he has a 'can do' attitude; it's in a can - it'll do.'

"Frank's gone fishing, and he'll be looking forward to a fish dinner."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I shop, therefore I am."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"It's black, but it's not New York black."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'What can you get with a quarter?'

Latest Greatest Fastest Computer...versus Good Enough.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

The Bargain Brand

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

Mall of ages

Down on Her.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

How much would you take off for cash?

'I'm sure they make it up in volume.'

'The old one fell apart.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

Introducing clean conscience products

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

'My wife doesn't just allow for inflation - she helps it along.'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.